More and more often, both as a licensed clinician and as a high school counselor, I see so many teenagers plagued with anxiety. Since I started counseling over 10 years ago, I feel that the numbers of teenagers having symptoms of anxiety has increased. What I see even more are teenagers who do not have strong coping skills. When you mix these two characteristics, lack of coping skills and heightened levels of anxiety, you can a very panicked, irritable teenager.
There are many theories as to why teenagers have poor coping skills. One of the more popular theories links around the overuse of social media, which is the last thing a teenager wants to hear or believe. But when you think about it, they are not facing problems head on. They are facing problems behind a screen. They are able to shut off their phone, throw their phone, and sometimes even break their phone. But, they cannot do that to a teacher or to a college admissions rep. Teenagers are also still developing and encountering some problems and situations for the first time so they lack experience in handling the situation. There are many different variables as to why teenagers cannot cope well at times or choose poor ways to cope.
What actually causes a teenager to be anxious? There are many different reasons and triggers. Genetics can cause anxiety as well as environment. If teenagers see their parents reacting to situations in an anxious manner, they can mimic this behavior. Many of times, I see teenagers who are overachievers suffering from anxiety because they set an unattainable goal for perfection, especially in their academic work or sports. The procrastinating teenager will also show symptoms of anxiety during their “crunch” times when trying to get a 10 page research paper done the night before the first day of school, despite having had 10 weeks to do it prior. I have seen relationships causing anxiety in teenagers, both romantic ones and friendship. Anxiety can really be triggered by just about anything that someone finds unsettling, but the reasons listed above are the most common I have seen personally.
How do we help a teenager who is faced with anxiety and struggles coping in difficult situations? In my practice, I utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques with all of my clients and have found it to be very effective. Relaxation techniques are always my first go to. They help you to do what is in the name of the technique, RELAX. We live in a very fast-paced society and sometimes we just need to stop, take a few minutes out of our day, and do some deep breathing, mediation, or maybe visualization. Refocusing techniques are also very helpful when trying to cope better and reduce symptoms of anxiety. But this technique sometimes can involve poor choices, such as using substances. Healthy refocusing techniques are doing positive hobbies, exercising, playing a game, doing a puzzle, even binge watching something on Netflix if it helps you to refocus your mind onto something better, more calming, and more enjoyable. Challenging irrational thoughts about the trigger causing the anxiety can help, but many of times individuals struggle doing this because it requires repetition and reinforcement. Being in counseling can help support a teenager during this process. The ultimate way to combat anxiety is giving up power and realizing that we cannot control everything, predict everything and have to just let the chips fall. It is a very scary thought to give up power, but when you really think about it, how much control do we actually have in the world pertaining to situations or things that could happen to us. The main thing teenagers can control is how they react to a situation. Getting teenagers to challenge these thoughts, cope better when they are feeing anxious, and reinforcing and repeating is what takes up the majority of time in counseling. In the end, if there is a commitment to change and consistent counseling happening, amazing goals and positive change can be accomplished. If your teenager is struggling with anxiety or coping and you would like to learn more about how counseling could help, please contact us today.